It was a few Thursdays ago, and I had come to my mom close to tears.  I was tired, and I began to ramble to her, telling her how bad I was feeling about myself, and how I just wanted to be done with all these negative thoughts and how I'd tried looking up verses about beauty to try to get a better perspective, but- 

That was when she stopped me.  "Verses about beauty are great," She agreed.  "BUT.  When you're having a problem, memorizing a verse about it with only make you think about the problem even more.  You become so focused on your problems, your yuck, your self, it leaves no room for God to work!  Instead, memorize a verse about the One who you want to be occupied with."

I was floored.  Here I was, throwing the biggest pity party I've thrown in a long time, and just going in circles.  I would try to rise up from it all by memorizing a verse like "Man looks on the outward appearance and God looks at the heart", but when it wasn't the 'magical formula' that instantly blew away all my self-conscious thoughts, I would begin to dwell on my outward appearance again, this time degrading myself for not being able to "keep myself from these thoughts" and thus spiraling down even farther. 

In a nutshell, I was showing pride at it's basest level.  We all know that humility is the opposite of pride, and humility is defined very simply as 'being fully occupied with God'.  

How could I change who I was if I was the one trying to do the changing?  

By setting my thoughts on someone higher, THE KING OF KINGS no less, it takes every thought off myself.  Those me-thoughts aren't gone by any means, but they're very slowly growing less loud.  Every day I try to pray that God would open my eyes to when I'm thinking those negative thoughts.   The cool thing is, when you put God on the spotlight, it clears up your muddied vision to see other people in a new way. 

It's a known fact that when we focus on and serve others around us, we ourselves become just that much less important in our own eyes.  

I can't tell you how many times I've been sitting sulking, and even though every part of my sinful self screamed against it, the few times I've stood up to do something as little as helping my mom put away the dishes or grabbing my siblings a washcloth, a weight from my heart has lifted.

Peoples, we are all so self-centered and stubborn.  Just today as I was scrolling through quotes on Pinterest, I came across this little gem:

This is the kind of trash that our world likes to dish out in huge spoonfuls every day.  IT'S ABOUT YOU! IT'S YOUR LIFE! LIVE IT UP!!!!  YOU ARE THE NUMBER ONE PRIORITY, AND IF SOMEONE DOESN'T LIVE LIKE YOU ARE WELL YOU JUST DON'T NEED THEM IN YOUR LIFE. 

Except that's not how it works.  This might sound harsh, but we have to get over ourselves.  Yes, we are beautiful in Christ.  Yes we are radiant warriors who shine for Him.  But it's when we make being beautiful our top priority, that it all goes downhill.  God does not tell us to go out and be beautiful; He gives us verses like this: 

"For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it."  -Matthew 16:25

My prayer for whoever reads this today is that you would lose your life for Jesus, starting right now and up until you die, for that is when true beauty really shines.