How To Have The Perfect Coffee Date

Sunday, December 13, 2015

A rich hazelnut scent wafts through the shop.  Crystal sugar covers tiny golden-orange muffins, tempting even the healthiest of health gurus.  Ceramic mugs clink.  The occasional whirring of a coffee bean grinder is heard. 

Coffee shops+this addict=true bliss.  Folded in with the white clouds of whipped cream are even sweeter memories. I've stopped many times just to breath deeply, mimicking little Charlie Bucket as he stood in front of Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory.  Except obviously my sniffing is more subtle.  Subtle sniffing is a thing, derp.  Trust me on this one.

How to have the perfect coffee date 101:


One close friend (who doesn't bat an eyelash at staying longer than an hour and has
already planned their schedule accordingly)
One wallet bursting with money (what if the coffee refills aren't free?)
One riveting novel if before-mentioned-friend is late (you don't want to
look like you got stood up, now do you?)
More money (because cute coffee mugs, duh!)
One phone (happy moments like these must be documented in due fashion)
Oversized shirt and leggings as a bonus (to complete the white girl look)

1. Text a friend-either someone you know well or wish to know better-and ask them to go out for coffee with you! Add a few heart emoticons to complete the process. 
2. Wait for their response.
3. Wait a little bit longer.
4. Sigh happily at their ecstatic reply. Of course they would like to go on a coffee date with you! (you'll wait for an even shorter time if you offer to pay for the coffee, trust me)

5. Pick a time AND place (Starbucks being the obvious, lazy person's choice).  This process will take at least a month of trying to fit two people's busy schedules together.  Bonus points if you want to get a trio together.  If this is the case, wait at least seven months before reading step six.
6. Congratulation!  You've found a time and place that works for all parties involved.  Give yourself a nice pat on the back.
7. When the day in question arrives, make sure you have something comfortable yet effortlessly cute to wear.  This should take you an estimate of five hours to pull together.
8. Pack all of your essentials, bringing extra money in case your friend forgets hers. It's been known to happen!
9. Arrive at the shop punctual and chomping at the bit for a nice cup of steaming hot coffee (or hot chocolate, if that's how the cookie crumbles for you).

10. Find your friend, hug for 2.5 seconds, and then immediately get in line.  Coffee waits for no man.
11. Now the really hard part. The menu will do its best to intimidate you, but don't let it!  You are determined, and you WILL pick your coffee! 
12. Twenty minutes later....
13. Well that wasn't so hard, was it?  Coffee in hand, smile blissfully and find a table with your friend in tow.  Talk deeply about all of life's greatest questions and don't interrupt unless it's for a coffee refill.  Then always do a coffee refill.

14.  Stay until one of you finally must tear yourself away, at least four cups of coffee later in admirable Lorelai-style.
15. Leave the coffee shop, promising yourself you'll go healthy next time and buy a smoothie next time.
16. Pull a Rory Gilmore.

17. Repeat steps 1-15.

And if this wasn't enough coffee talk for you, then go visit this fabulous post: 19 Signs Your Coffee Addiction Is Out Of Hand.

Craving coffee yet?  I sure hope so >:D

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  1. You're always so sweet and make me laugh all at the same time xD

  2. I LOVE YOUR BLOG. This made me laugh so much and it's so accurate hahahaha. You've inspired me to invite a friend for a coffee date. ;) Thanks for sharing xx
    Olivia K |

  3. haha this is so cute <3 i love this post, and your sense of humor is on point :)
    i literally haven't visited your blog in SO long! i'm lovin the new title and design!

  4. oh my goodness, this made me laugh so much XD
    so funny, yet SO realistic!

  5. We really ought to do coffee sometime. Haha! This was great.


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