Have you ever been in one of those situations where you find something really uncomfortable has happened and there's nothing you can do about it?
How about finding a huge red collection of acne on the back of your neck right in the middle of class?
I told you, awkward. And okay GROSS because acne is misery. Seriously one of the most unneccesary things in the world (right up there with mosquitoes).
Normally I wouldn't bat an eyelash because most of my shirts cover that part of my neck, but as the fates would have it, that was the day I wore my new shirt with the wider shoulders that swooped a little lower in the back then your normal t-shirt.
*sigh*
It was also a shirt that apparently shows any sort of moisture really well because I soon realized that not only did I have acne that was screaming LOOK AT ME but I was also sweating, and quite profusely.
YOU. GUYS.
For the rest of the class I resorted to crossing my arms really tightly and trying to convince myself that it really wasn't that big of a deal even as I imagined the people sitting behind me who were getting a wonderful view of every teenager's worst nightmare. Later, when I got home, I could laugh about it. But that was only AFTER I had changed shirts and slapped a bandaid on my neck.
I do that with a lot of life, actually.
The messy, ugly, painful parts of life that leave me feeling vulnerable are the ones I do my best to hide. I try to do that by slapping on the bandaids of distractions, performance, certain clothes, anything that will take their eyes off of my failures and unappealable parts.
Sometimes it feels like parts of my life are just one big, obvious sore that need to be covered up.
i don't have a boyfriend.
i'm not stick skinny.
i suck at math.
i can't remember details for the life of me, and i'm terrible at responding to texts.
i let my friends down, snap at my siblings, argue with my parents.
Boy do I ever wish I could shove my weaknesses under the rug and pick up instead that sparkly pink bandaid that gets me the attention and the compliments and the admiration.
But does it surprise you that God doesn't offer a bandaid? Nuh-uh honey! That'd just be too easy!
The thing about bandaids: they don't fix the problem. They may cover it up, temporarily stop the blood, or attempt to keep anything else from happening to the cut; but they can't heal.
I'm gonna be honest with you, this post makes me uncomfortable. I can compare it to the feeling of wripping off a bandage and be completely accurate.
It's so hard for me to admit my failures and weaknesses!! I feel like the few parts of my life I "control" are being ripped away from me. But I know that it is Christ who is glorified when I'm willing to be open about them, and who is the one helping me to peel off one bandaid after the next.
Do you think the war heroes cover up their battle scars?
Never! They wear them proudly, as reminders of what they went through to get them. Their bandages are only temporary.
Our bandaids might cover our scars up, but honestly, how annoying is it to have bandaids? I dunno about you but I tend to want to get them off ASAP.
Our bandaids might cover our scars up, but honestly, how annoying is it to have bandaids? I dunno about you but I tend to want to get them off ASAP.
So for today, I've started on bandaid #1. By getting this out in the open, that "weakness" is no longer covered up.
I don't want anything to get in the way of God's work in me, pink sparkly bandaid or not.
So for today, I want to encourage you to rip off those bandaids. Give God your weaknesses and battle wounds. You KNOW He wants to turn them into their own testimony about Him, making them so much better then anything we could ever imagine!
26 comments
Wow, thanks so much for this. Your honesty is inspiring. And this post is so true and totally what I needed to hear right now. So much of my life is "bandaid-ed" because I want to be beautiful, fun, and perfect for those around me. But we are only perfect in Christ, not of our own abilities through our pink, sparkly bandaids. :-)
ReplyDeleteAnyway, thank you for this reminder. I really needed it.
Absolutely, Hannah. I've found that I need reminders like this every. day. It's so effing easy to forget! And yet there's such FREEDOM in taking off my bandaids that it's always worth it.
DeleteGoodness gracious. The raw truth of these words astounds me. How many times have I simply tried to ignore what needed to be healed?
ReplyDeleteThank you, thank you, thank you for writing this. ♥
xoxo
And thank you, thank you for your comment. To know that someone relates to what I'm writing is a wonderful feeling ;)
Deletethank you so much for this amazing post. i really needed it today ♥
ReplyDeleteI love it when God can use something as insignificant as a blog post to encourage dear people like you;) you are SO welcome!
DeleteThank you for reminding us all to live honestly and allow God to shine!
ReplyDeleteI dunno about you but I need reminders like that every day;) thanks Jen!
DeleteMath... To be honest, I am quite good at math, but lately my grade has been dipping low from an A to a B and In rather upset about it and I want to bang my head against the wall in protest. And boyfriends, urgh, I don't have one either, but they are the stressful little buggers. Ah, well, it's the high school life! *last line goes to the tune of "It's the Hard Knock Life"*
ReplyDeletexoxo Morning
What you just described is how I'm feeling about school right now. I'm soooooo ready for summer!!!!!! Anybody else with me on this one?!
Delete"Do you think war heroes cover up their battle scars?"
ReplyDeleteWow, so true!
Not sure where that sentence came from but suddenly I had written it down and I was struck by how true it really is.
DeleteThank you for your honesty. Teenage life can be really stressful at times. Actually, just life in general is. When I was in primary school, I had a severe case of ezcema and I remember people making fun of the cut on my neck and people wiping their hands after they touch a spot (it wasn't bad, it was just dry skin, really). Acne's never been a problem for me, but that has, and I could relate to this post. :)
ReplyDeleteWow, Jo, thank YOU so so much for being just as honest with me! Man, I can so relate! #canigetanamen
DeleteThis is actually the best post right now. First of all, acne... UGH!! For me it's the regular on your face gotta cover it with some makeup kind. It's literally the most inconvenient thing. And then there's the bigger picture. In the last day I started feeling ashamed about my life, and ignoring these details as if they didn't exist. I've realised I've been covering up all these lifestyle issues for so long that it's all just escalated to this secret I need to hide from the outside world. My self confidence hit an all time low and I don't know why it's all so important to me. I need to rip off that bandaid for myself and for the world to see. Maybe then I'll stop being so ashamed of imperfect aspects of my life.
ReplyDelete-M
The Life of Little Me
"I don't know why it's all so important to me"- oh girl, the struggle is real and frustrating! Something I'm realizing though is that my closest friends are the ones who are the most honest about their imperfections ;))
DeleteYes sister! I agree with all my heart. This post strikes close to home because I struggled with a whole lot of insecurities (including severe cystic acne) through high school. It wasn't until I learned this very lesson that I was able to allow my insecurities to push me forward. Thanks for sharing.
ReplyDeleteThat's so AWESOME!!!!!!! Allowing my insecurities to push me forwards is something I'm learning slowly, and it's so encouraging to meet other people who are or have done the same thing ;)
DeleteGood for your for sharing this! We all have insecurities and things we struggle with!
ReplyDeletewww.amemoryofus.com
You're so right, Darcy! Thanks for the comment ;)
DeleteChloe, this was amazingly brave and bold and I envy that.
ReplyDeleteMeghan, you are too kind. You don't know how close I was to not publishing this. Thank you for your sweet words. I might have screen shotted your comment ;-)
DeleteOh my gosh, I love this. It was so raw, honest and beautiful.
ReplyDeleteThis was so encouraging and it made me think about a lot of things, so thank you so very much for posting!
No thank YOU Lauren!! All of the encouragement I've received after publishing this has been overwhelming. I'm so glad to know it made you feel something and got you to thinking. That's every writer's dream! ;-)
DeleteSuch a well written post Chloe and one I can totally relate to!
ReplyDeleteEmma xx // alittlefreckle
Wow. This is so amazing. I really admire people who can take hold of all the little qualms and queries they have about things and throw them away.
ReplyDeleteI am very, very self concious. One of my biggest fears is embaressing myself, something I do on a regular basis. But then again, sometimes I think I exagerate every little weird thing I do-people might not even notice it! Then I realize if I'm always worrying, how will I enjoy the life God meant me to enjoy?
Thanks for the amazing post!
~Kathryn
Hey! Person commenting! Yes, you. Wanna know something?
You're kinda awesome.