I have to confess, I'm scared to write posts like this.  I worry someone else has already said what I'm trying to communicate, or worse yet they'll have said it better then me.
I obsess over every sentence, wonder if people will comment or if it will be so cliche they won't even read the whole thing.  In blogging about the things I struggle with, I reveal how insecure I really am. 
But I am also learning to listen to my Father and to not let my silly pride get in the way of what He wants me to share.

Sunday night I sat down with my journal in one hand and my pencil gripped tightly in the other, ready to have a glorious venting session with God.  I was sick with worry about something I didn't have all the facts about, had no control over, and had spent a good part of my day frankly obsessing over.
I was planning on reading my Bible after I hashed it all out and had my say.  But even as I opened my journal, I felt the tiniest nudge, and I knew God wanted me to open the Bible instead.  It was almost like God was giving me a deal: see what I have to say first, and then you can complain afterwards.

You guessed it; I never got to the complaining stage.

My next plan was to read a chapter in Romans I'd been studying earlier that week.  God was sure enjoying messing up my silly little "plans"!  My Bible opened to Hebrews chapter 10, where Paul is delivering a rousing wake-up call to the Hebrews.  They have received the biggest gift of all, the cleansing blood of Jesus, and yet even though they have the knowledge of the truth they go on 'sinning deliberately'.
Such a motivating chapter, but my focus fell especially on the last verse:

"But we are not of those who shrink back and are destroyed, but of those who have faith and preserve their souls."

How convicting to realize I had been doing just that with all my worry and fear!  Francis Chan from Crazy Love defined worry very eloquently: "Worry implies that we don't quite trust that God is big enough, powerful enough, or loving enough to take care of what's happening in our lives."

Ouch.

I was having a glorious worry-fest, and in doing that I was NOT believing in the full assurance of faith talked about in this chapter.  Even as verse 35 told me not to, I threw away my confidence and shrunk away.
But.  Before I was 'destroyed', God opened my eyes.  He reminded me that CHLOE!  YOU DON'T HAVE TO WORRY!  BY ME YOU CAN RUN AGAINST A TROOP, AND BY ME YOU CAN LEAP OVER A WALL!  HAVE FAITH!   (psalm 18:29)

Ladies, I don't want to shrink back.  I don't want to waste away my time in fear of the future.  I want to have the faith that can preserve my soul.  I challenge you to take a stand with me today.  I challenge you to take your eyes off yourself and your troubles, and put your confidence in the hope of heaven, for then you will have a great reward.

-Chloe