the writing life

Sneak Peek Of My Newest Story!

Thursday, November 14, 2013

I'm sure if any of you follow me you will have seen my newest board called "Developing Story: Families." It's DEFINITELY in development stage right now, but since I'm writing 500 words for it every day I'm certainly making progress!  Here's a sneak peek of the first chapter:) :)

A crackling filled my ears and then the school switched on my screen, turning it to the morning broadcast. 
“Good morning students!” The beaming face of the community head master filled the screen.  His face was round and wrinkly, and his ears stuck out on both sides of his bald head.  “I trust you’ve all slept well.”

Across from me I could hear Alec mutter, “No thanks to you.”
Leaning over, I whispered, “This may be new to you but some people actually enjoy waking up early.”
He made a face at me and then pointedly looked away. 

“I have a few notifications; but first, a precaution for you children that I’m sure isn’t new but is extremely important to re in force: Stay away from the foreign lands.  I'm sure you've all heard the stories about the children who left and never came back again.  Eighty years of searching for the children and it produced nothing.  This should say something.  Never, ever, ever, step even a toe-nail in them.  You are safe in your communities, ST's.  And very soon you will have the chance to make something of yourselves in the city!” The man's smile, if it was possible, stretched across his face even wider then it had been before, causing his eyes to almost disappear beneath all the smile wrinkles. 
“You are the last community before you will be off on your own, having a splendid time.  I'm sure you'd all enjoy that, aye?”

Even though I'd heard him say these same words every morning, every morning, just like clock-work, something stirred inside me.  I could never tell anyone how much I wanted to leave these communities.  As an ST I had only four more years.  To me it felt even longer then how long it took for Sandy to fix her hair. 

“But if you don't believe me-” The mayor's beaming face disappeared, replaced by a video of two children, their expressions practically screaming mischief.  They were surrounded by trees, tall dead trees whose ghostly skeletons glowed orange in the shadows.  The boy and girl looked behind them, where I could see the outline of what looked like a community.  And-they were leaving it.  All around me I could hear children gasping as they realized what was happening.  The children, who looked like they should have been in the PT community gave one last tentative look behind them before stepping outside the communities borders. 

I sucked in my breath, waiting for them to drop dead.  I could see that they expected something to happen too.  But nothing did.  After a minute of intense silence, the two looked at each other.  Smiles creeping onto their face, they began to laugh and giggle.  I relaxed- but I should have known something wasn't right.  With a deafening boom the ground opened up below them and red-gold fire poured out, instantly burning them both.The cafeteria erupted in a mixture of screams and yells.  I felt like yelling myself.  What was that supposed to prove?” Alec's fists were clenched.  “That's barbaric!”
The man's face appeared on the screen again, and I hated him now for his smile.  “I hope you get the message.  We do not intend to do this to harm you, children. It is only for your safety.”

Yes, these are my two main characters.  Becka Burnette is on the left, and Alec is on the right.
Tell me what you think!  Would you read it?

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  1. I would absolutely read it!! This is awesome Chloe!!

    1. Thanks girl!! You're sweet:) Im impressed if you really even understood any of that seeing how out of context it was!

  2. I would!! Good job Chloe! Do you have it mostly planned out already?

    1. If by mostly planned you mean three pages worth of notes in a notebook then yes. I have it "mostly planned". NOT. I'm workin on it though!! :)


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